Headphones for the Headphone God!
I got some Porta Pro’s
I would love to buy a $500 pair of Sennheiser or Audio Technica war ready headphones to listen to the same five albums on repeat but I have a problem. Well, a few, but the biggest one is the size of my head. The majority of these big boy headphones are too big even on the smallest setting. Codys AKG’s fit me if I wear a hat under it. I’m not wearing hats just to get the drivers to align to my ears.
So what do you do when your tiny skull wants to listen to music? Get kids headphones? Lol, you just switch to earbuds! Yes, it doesn’t matter how massive or compact your head is if the things just pop into your ears right? Right?
Oh yeah, small head also means small ear canals. That means the old school hard earbuds from the Y2K’s and Apple’s AirPods wont even go in my ears. But they make small ear bud foamy bits and such to fit anyone! I know I know. I love my little $30 Sony marshmallow things and my fancy pants Pro AirPods. The pro means you can have a hobbit skull and still listen to Bluetooth music. But even then I have to use the smallest size covers and even then after an hour they start to hurt the inside of my ear canal.
So cut to last Christmas when I bought a portable cassette player. It came with a set of retro styled on ear foam headphones like the kind that came with all of our tape/cd players back then. They sounded like you’d expect $12 orange foam pad headphones to sound. But sure enough when they sent us back to work and I realized I couldn’t wear earbuds all day that these cheapies worked just fine. They’re so light that (unlike all other on-ear headphones) they don’t crush the hard cartilage of your ears against your glasses.
Then I started listening to lofi music while working and guess what, low end headphones can handle this music flawlessly! They also worked perfectly for podcasts because its all high mids for speech! But then, last month, I ran into a manor flaw with my beloved orange foam friends… the new Florence + The Machine album was out.
I’ve listened to the other four albums so much that I can hear them in my sleep. My Cheeto puff balls didn’t bother me with Cosmic Love or Lover to Lover, but the new album deserved better. I have IEM’s, I have the fancy pro airpods, but my Zune doesn’t have bluetooth and the IEM’s are also noise cancelling. Now, most of yall live for noise cancelling, I can’t. If I rode on planes all the time maybe I’d be a fan but I need to be able to hear the kids or the dogs or whatever else going on around me. Even when alone the noise cancelling screws with something and I constantly feel like someone is standing behind me.
So yeah, I did what any normal person would do and looked up the fellow nutcases over at r/headphones to see what the options for high end Cheeto puffs were. They all had a wide range of suggestions because everyones taste and head shape is different. Then as I was scrolling through pics I saw a pair of PortaPro’s. Cheeto balls on HGH! Even better, they were only $40 and Amazon had custom foam pads for them.
Are they flawless? No, they’re portable lightweight headphones that fit my hobbit skull without crushing it. The sound quality is the same if not better than my old earbuds because the drivers are huge. Bigger drivers means a wider range of sound can physically emit from them which results in a much better feel from stuff like live recordings and stuff where stereo echos are included. Or just live drums in general. Anyway, they do Dance Fever justice and I can still hear the baby.